his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just had sex on a roof
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
