U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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