we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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