I cannot find my penis.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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