you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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