Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
