his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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