My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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