i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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