This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
