I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
