I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
