He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
