we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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