I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
