the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
