I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
