Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
No subtext here. People are naked.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
