left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
