This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
