shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize