At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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