btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
