don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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