everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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