what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
