I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
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