google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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