Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
