Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
