she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
