told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
