Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize