I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize