We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
