i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
