Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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