is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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