I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
