We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
