I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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