We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
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Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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