we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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