To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There r osticjed everywhere
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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