Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
