You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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