Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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