His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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