At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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