walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
