My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize