i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize