From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
