Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
