I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
