garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
