READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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