Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
