He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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