he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think your dad took our porno
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
